Sex after pregnancy: how to rekindle your love life after a baby
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Having a baby is truly an amazing, life-changing experience. In the first few weeks after the baby is born, many new parents find that their lives now revolve almost entirely around their child, and things like relationships, intimacy and sex need to be put on the back burner.
Still, even with a baby in the picture, it’s important for couples to make time for reconnecting with their partners on an intimate level. Find out how you can keep your relationship strong, ease your way back into sex and reclaim your love life after pregnancy with the following tips!
#1: Make sure you’re ready
According to fertility experts, most women are able to be physically intimate again anywhere between four to six weeks after giving birth. However, even if you find that you’re not emotionally ready to do so just yet, that’s okay.
With all the physical and hormonal changes that happen to a woman’s body after pregnancy, it’s perfectly normal to feel like you need to take a breather. Make sure not to pressure yourself or your partner into having sex again if neither of you feel ready to do so. It’s best to wait until both of you are ready before reclaiming your physical relationship.
#2: Get adequate rest
Until your baby learns to sleep through the night, you’re likely to be tired, irritated and stressed from interrupted rest. One thing you may not realize is that lack of sleep also contributes to a lowered libido as well as a decreased interest in sex, so be sure that both you and your partner get adequate rest.
It’s a good idea to work out a schedule where both of you share the childcare duties, so that you each take on an equal amount of work and can both get the rest that you need. If necessary, request assistance from family members or hire a babysitter to help keep an eye on the baby. This way, you and your spouse can catch up on much-needed sleep.
#3: Plan ahead
Caring for a newborn can be exhausting and demanding, but this doesn’t mean you need to lose out on your sex life. You just need to learn how to adapt around your baby’s schedule by planning ahead.
If you’re too tired at night, then set aside some time during the day (preferably while your baby is napping) to be intimate with each other. Alternatively, you could make plans to go to bed a little earlier than normal, so that you’ll both be awake and alert to spend some quality time with each other.
#4: Find other ways to reconnect
Relationships aren’t just about sex. After pregnancy and birth, many couples find that it’s more important for them to recapture that feeling of connection and intimacy with each other, rather than focusing on their physical relationship from the get-go.
Consider organizing a “date night”, or settle down on the sofa together with some popcorn and a good movie. By reclaiming the emotional portion of your relationship, you’ll likely find it easier to restart the physical side of things as well.
#5: Communicate and set expectations
It’s important for you to talk openly and honestly about sex with your partner. If you’re in pain or just not in the mood, you need to let him know.
Find time to speak with each other about how you’re both feeling. Set expectations and be open about both of your needs and concerns. This will help to prevent misunderstandings or resentment that might otherwise harm your relationship.
#6: Accept and adapt to changes
Your body and sex drive will have changed after pregnancy, and your time is no longer your own. But as your baby grows and develops, you’ll eventually settle into a new “normal”, and you’ll learn to adjust to life as a parent as you go along. Focus on taking care of yourself, your child and your relationship with your other half - and when the time is right, you’ll find yourself reclaiming the love and intimacy you had before.
#1: Make sure you’re ready
According to fertility experts, most women are able to be physically intimate again anywhere between four to six weeks after giving birth. However, even if you find that you’re not emotionally ready to do so just yet, that’s okay.
With all the physical and hormonal changes that happen to a woman’s body after pregnancy, it’s perfectly normal to feel like you need to take a breather. Make sure not to pressure yourself or your partner into having sex again if neither of you feel ready to do so. It’s best to wait until both of you are ready before reclaiming your physical relationship.
#2: Get adequate rest
Until your baby learns to sleep through the night, you’re likely to be tired, irritated and stressed from interrupted rest. One thing you may not realize is that lack of sleep also contributes to a lowered libido as well as a decreased interest in sex, so be sure that both you and your partner get adequate rest.
It’s a good idea to work out a schedule where both of you share the childcare duties, so that you each take on an equal amount of work and can both get the rest that you need. If necessary, request assistance from family members or hire a babysitter to help keep an eye on the baby. This way, you and your spouse can catch up on much-needed sleep.
#3: Plan ahead
Caring for a newborn can be exhausting and demanding, but this doesn’t mean you need to lose out on your sex life. You just need to learn how to adapt around your baby’s schedule by planning ahead.
If you’re too tired at night, then set aside some time during the day (preferably while your baby is napping) to be intimate with each other. Alternatively, you could make plans to go to bed a little earlier than normal, so that you’ll both be awake and alert to spend some quality time with each other.
#4: Find other ways to reconnect
Relationships aren’t just about sex. After pregnancy and birth, many couples find that it’s more important for them to recapture that feeling of connection and intimacy with each other, rather than focusing on their physical relationship from the get-go.
Consider organizing a “date night”, or settle down on the sofa together with some popcorn and a good movie. By reclaiming the emotional portion of your relationship, you’ll likely find it easier to restart the physical side of things as well.
#5: Communicate and set expectations
It’s important for you to talk openly and honestly about sex with your partner. If you’re in pain or just not in the mood, you need to let him know.
Find time to speak with each other about how you’re both feeling. Set expectations and be open about both of your needs and concerns. This will help to prevent misunderstandings or resentment that might otherwise harm your relationship.
#6: Accept and adapt to changes
Your body and sex drive will have changed after pregnancy, and your time is no longer your own. But as your baby grows and develops, you’ll eventually settle into a new “normal”, and you’ll learn to adjust to life as a parent as you go along. Focus on taking care of yourself, your child and your relationship with your other half - and when the time is right, you’ll find yourself reclaiming the love and intimacy you had before.